My first slash-fanfic Ever!

It's a Harry/Draco slash-fanfiction. T'was for Pii-chans birtday.

Disclaimer: Marichigo dosen't own anything from the Harry Potter-verse! Rowling does

Congratulations, Pii-chan! 

Oi, Loki, c’n I borrow your sock-puppets? 

… *blinks*… 

’s for Puppy’s birthday present… pleeease? Pretty please wif’ sugar on top? 

…Sure, Marichigo, but why? I thought you were gonna write her a slash-fanfic? 

Weeell… I was, but… well, they just won’t bloody co-operate! I mean, it’s not like it’s soddin’ rocket-science, what’s so hard to understand about “rod A goes into slot B”, right? But nooo, as soon as I gave ‘em their directions, everything just went to hell in a handbasket! Garrgh!!! It’s just so bloody frustrating… *sulks* 

…Look, sweetie, I know I’m gonna regret this, but why don’t you come sit on uncle Loki’s lap and tell me what, exactly, happened? 

*suspicious stare* 

I’ll even give ya one of my fags, okay? Here, let me light it for you. 

Okay, but you had better not try anything funny, alright? I’m sooo not in the mood right now. 

Would I do that?!? You know me better than… okay, I get your point, but I promise, okay? Besides, you’re still in chibi-mode. 

*cuddling sounds* 

See? Much better already, right? Now, tell me, what’s gotten you all riled up like this, sugar-plum? 

…*sigh*… well, it started something like this… 

8 flashback 8 

Look, Draco, just put the bloody thing on!!! 


Whaddya mean, no?! 

Have you gone deaf as well as dumb, woman? I mean no, as in: I absolutely refuse to let that… garment… anywhere near my body. Merlin alone knows where it has been before, and besides, it’s undeniably muggle. I do have some standards, you know! 

Look, it’s brand new, I just pulled it out of hammer-space, now just be a good boy and put it on, duckie.  

Hammer-space? If you think I’m wearing anything that’s been in some mouldy old tool-shed, you’re even more off your rocker than I thought! Just wait until my father hears about this, he has connections in the ministry - 

-Shut up!!! Gawds, but you can be annoying… Look, hammer-space is an anime… thingy. Think of it as the non-dusty storage-room of, well, anything really, in spite of the name. Go on now, get dressed. Quickly, before I loose my patience and ram it down your throat instead, luv. 

*sullen glare* 

Okay, that’s it, I’ve had it up to here with you! I’m getting Mamma G. Maybe she c’n get you to behave, hmm? 

No! I mean, I’ll do it, okay? Just… look, would you at least have the decency to turn your back, or something?! I said I’d do it! 

…scared much, Malfoy? *giggle* 


Good boy… okay, hold yer bloody horses, I’m going! Don’t get your knickers inna twist… 

*door slams* 

8 present time 8 

…You threatened the poor boy with her?!? 

Well, what was I supposed to do? He wouldn’t listen to me, I figured she would do the trick. Besides, it’s not like I actually called her, y’know? 

But still- 

-Oh, give a girl a break, will’ya! She’s really not that bad, and she is my best friend. Besides, you wanna hear the bloody story or not? I thought so. Well, after I went and got The Golden Boy Who Wouldn’t Kick The Bloody Bucket, I got ‘im dressed appropriately. 

8 flashback 8 

You know, that look really suits you, Potter! 

…I look like a ponce. And you still haven’t told me why I’m here. 

Weeeeell… It’s a bit complicated… 

Look, you can’t just waltz into potions and grab me like that, even if you say you were there on Dumbledores orders. Besides, the Order of the Phoenix is a secret society, you shouldn’t go about using the name in public like that! 

So you say. But I’ll bet you didn’t really mind. You hate potions. And without Malfoy to ogle at, there can’t be much to keep one awake in those lessons? 

Yeah, that’s- HEY!!! What do you mean? I do not “ogle” that evil git! 

*very innocent look* I’m sure I never said you did… 

Yes you did, and no I don’t!!! 

…Moving on… Did you see the look on Snapes face? He looked absolutely gobsmacked! And quite possibly flabberghasted as well- never could figure out just what that’s supposed to look like… 

*snigger* yes, he did look like someone who’d swallowed a flobberworm. That was so great, I’ll bet Ron still haven’t stopped laughing! 

that was laughing? I thought someone was dissecting a live donkey with a chainsaw… 

Yes, but please, don’t ever tell him that! He thinks it’s his most attractive feature, and ‘Mione has this theory that it’ll kill him to hear the truth… and then she’ll kill me for letting it happen… Look, I’m not stupid, I know you’re avoiding my question- 

-(…‘m not…)- 

-AND if you’re from the Order, I’m the fucking Queen of Sheba! So just tell me why I’m here, okay? Are you a Death Eater? Is this some harebrained kidnapping scheme? ‘cause if it is, Voldie’s seriously lost his marbles… 

HEY! Do I look like the kinda woman who would follow some insane dictator-wannabe? Be one, yes. Follow one? Hell no! And why are you laughing? 

You as an *snigger* evil dictator? Of what? Hello Kitty-land?! 

…And just what is that supposed to mean? I can be evil! 

Yes, of course you can. Very evil, I’m sure. In a cute way. 

*ominous silence* 

Look, all I’m saying is, I’m used to fighting this insane halfblood supremacist and, quite frankly, you just don’t… what are you doing? 

I’m tying myself up, so I don’t kill you before I’ve finished Pii-chans present, dearie. 

…You’re seriously weird, lady. 

Yup! Now, let’s get this show on the road- follow me! 

*door slams* 


*door opens* 

Are you coming or not? Move it! 

I’m not moving until you tell me why I’m here. 

Weeeell… It’s really no big deal, I just *cough*  needyoutogotothenextroomandletdracomalfoyfuckyouandpleaseletmewatchsoIcanwritedownwhathappensandpublishitontheinternet… It’s for Pii-chans birthday, so it’s okay, really! 


Are you okay? 

I’m just replaying that last sentence in my head to see if it makes any more sense the second time around… you want me to what?!? 

*sigh* you know, I thought I made myself perfectly clear, but nooo… I. Want. You. To. Shag. Draco. Malfoy. Now, let’s go, before the blighted bugger tries to escape. Again. 

But… but…huh? You’ve got Draco here? 


And you want me to, you know… with him… 



Whaddya mean, no?! Gawds! This is so déjà vu… Now, get your sorry arse into gear, and follow me. Or I’ll tell Hermione who spilled ink all over her copy of Hogwarts: a History! 

*door slams* 

8 present time 8 

So let me get this straight. You broke into Hogwarts, told everyone you were a member of the Order of the Big Birdie, kidnapped the (underage) Saviour of the Wizarding World, dressed him up as some kind of gothboy guardian angel, and then told him that he had to shag his second worst enemy? 


And then you locked him in a room with aforementioned enemy? And you did all that for our Puppy? 


I like your style! 

*snif* really? 

Really. Now, dry your eyes and tell me what happened next. 

8 flashback 8 

*door opens* 

Finally! What took you so long and oh god please tell me you didn’t bring that bloody gryffindork here!!! 


That’s my name, Potter. Don’t misuse it. 

But… what is that you’re wearing? You look- 

-like an absolute twat, yes, I know. That woman is clearly insane! Whoever came up with the idea of pants this tight? I can’t even sit down! And two straps of black latex does not constitute a shirt in my book! 

Err… I think it’s… nice? 

Yes, you would think that, wouldn’t you?! I mean, whoever heard of a Gryffindor with taste? Merlin forbid! And would you please stop staring? It’s getting embarrassing, and I’m sure you don’t want to look like you’re pervving over me, Potter. 

…right. Umm… so, Malfoy, did she tell you what we’re doing here? 

No. She wouldn’t. Uhm… Harry, are you wearing fishnet gloves? 

So what if I am, ferretboy? And would you please listen to me? She wants us to *blush* y’know… 

No, Potter, in actual fact I don’t know. I believe I just told you that. What I want to know is why we’ve both been decked out in these… attires. And… I would also like to know just when you decided to get your nipple pierced… 

But you know I haven’t… *downwards glance* What? Oh! *fierce blush* She must have done that with a spell of some sort… 

Lawnmowerspace, probably… It’s very… err… 

Yes… Do you… did she…? Erm… 

I… don’t know. *cough* But of course, such a muggle modification would be totally unacceptable! I shall, however distasteful I personally find that solution, require your assistance to check for any offending items on my person… 


…Scared, Potter? 

You wish! I just… she… 

What, don’t you think you’re up for the challenge? *smirk* I guess all that Gryffindor courage really is just a scam. 

Like hell it is. Besides, everyone knows that Slytherins turn tail when faced with hardship… 

Oh yeah? 

Mhm. Fact of… life… 

*door slams* 

8 present time 8 

…And they were like this when you left them? 

Yes! *sob* They were, like, face to soddin’ face and arguing. I mean, I thought I could make it work, I really did! 

*stony silence* 

I tried so hard! I even got them the right clothes and everything, y’know, with Draco’s outfit just like the one in that painting Puppy did of that catboy… *wibble* But now it’s all gone tits-up, because all they wanna do is fight, and I’m not some kinda rapist, see? I really thought all I had to do was get them in the same room, give ‘em a chance to talk, and they’d realise how friggin’ great they’d be together… Or at least just go at it like hot, raunchy, teenaged, hormone induced lust-driven bunnies. But I can’t make ‘em do it, that would go against the slashers honour-code, and now I have no present for Puppy, and… 

*barely repressed laughter* 

…and… *suspicious glare* Are you laughing?! 

Who, me? It’s just that… Marichigo, for a yaoi-fangirl, you can sometimes be incredibly dense. 

What?!? Are you making fun of me? I sit here and pour my heart out for you, and you laugh at me?! *incredulous stare* 

That’s more like the woman I know! And, well, yes. 

*angry stance* 

Look, just go to the room again, okay pumpkin? 


Trust me on this one. Go to the room again. Shoo! And give me a full and detailed report when you come back. 

…’kay… But you’d better not be yanking my chain on this one, or so help me goddess…! 

~ later ~ 

Soft sighs could be heard from the other side of the door. A strangled groan floated out into the hallway, muffled by the thickness of the ancient oak door. The lone figure slowed down as she approached it, all earlier reservations and sorrows forgotten, an intrigued look spreading over her features. Snatches of a mumbled conversation, interspersed with gasps and breathless laughs, could be heard, at least if she pressed her ear to a crack in the door just so. 

I thought she would never leave! The voice hitched slightly, as if the owner was fighting to get the words out in between hastily snatched gasps of breath 

mmm… me neither. Oh, Merlin, I’ve missed you so much! To see you like that, dressed like that, and not be allowed to touch you, claim you… The second voice had a slightly more cultivated lilt to its tones, but was muffled, with the slightest hint of a pause before each word, as if the speaker had his lips pressed against skin, speaking between kisses placed like butterflies on warm, moving flesh. 

With a pleased smile on her face, the unseen figure sat down, cross-legged, in front of the door. She plucked out her pen and some crumpled sheaves of paper, apparently out of thin air. And then she started writing. 

But that, my dearest friend, is another story, for another time. Happy birthday! 

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Most of Gambit as Bishounen is copyright by Pippi Groving but you are free to borrow anything ....Marichigo is especially interested in staring in some slash-fanfiction